Saturday, December 13, 2008

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Pleasures of the Flesh Songs

Is there anything more embaressing than thinking that somebody is waving at you and then turning around to find out to say that they're waving at someone behind you? This experience must transcend cultural boundaries.

Music is great for lots of things and one thing that it can really add to is enjoyment of the pleasures of the flesh. The following are my top pleasures of the flesh songs and their situational appropriateness.

1. "Mirror" by Neo - This is my favorite one. This is for the most fun types of pleasures of the flesh. Somebody relatively new. You haven't had no major arguments yet. Everything's all good. There's a healthy understanding that your time together is your time apart is your time apart. You've already engaged in pleasures of the flesh 2 or so times together so now you're mad liberated and really ready to just go in and have fun.

2. "The Root" by D'Angelo - Much more serious than Mirror. Dare I say love. Very emotionally draining. If you find this song particualrly apt you may be in a danger zone of some sort. Theoretically you may be in some good zone too. Theoretically.

3. "Till We Become the Sun" by Maxwell - Tantric anthem. This is for the pleasures of the flesh that change your life for a few days and change the way you look at pleasures of the flesh forever. Then you think you're in love for a little while but then you realize the pleasures of the flesh was just mad intense. Mad fingertips. Kinda slow motionesque. "Till We Become the Sun" chicks are very powerful so be very careful.

4. "In the Hood" by Wu-tang Clan - Go in.

Ya'll know any good ones? Put me on.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Frugal Rock

My lifestyle is what you call frugal. I am quite adept at it.

I'm not broke. I'm not poor. I'm fed and clothed and sheltered and I always make enough money in enough time for whatever I really need. I am happy and enjoying a life of abundance. As a frugalist.

If you exhibit any of the following behaviors, then you may be a frugalist.

-Using lotion as chapstick.
-Using chapstick as lotion.
-Blowing into toothpaste so you can fill it up with water and shake it back and forth to make more toothpaste.
-Same with dishwashing liquid, only you don't have to blow into it.
-Saving all your little soap slivers and then forcing them together to make one sizeable soap mass.
-Reusing cereal milk over the course of 2 or more meals.
-2 or more consecutive meals consisting of cereal.
-Babypowdering your armpits because your out of deodorant.
-Using steam to fashion a makeshift bowl out of a styrofoam plate (if you know about this one you are an A level frugalist).
-Using paper towels as toilet paper.
-Using toilet paper as napkins.

Please feel free to add to this list. Frugalists unite!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

No Happiness Without Nuts

Dog owners who neuter, how can you rationalize cutting off the balls of an animal you claim to care about? Do you understand the significance of balls in the life of a male animal? There is no happiness without balls. These animals are miserable. They have no will to live. I don't care if he's wagging his tale. I don't care if he's smiling from ear to ear. The dude is miserable.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Doodoo Radar

It's bugged out how humans have built in doodoo radar. I mean, how many times have you looked down and seen doodoo that you would have stepped in had you not looked down? Happens to me all the time. But actually stepping in doodoo is very rare. It makes me wonder, what goes wrong those times when you actually step in doodoo, when your doodoo radar fails you. Why do regular radars fail? Like the ones in submarines, or the ones in control towers? Our radars and those radars probably fail for similar reasons.