Is there anything more embaressing than thinking that somebody is waving at you and then turning around to find out to say that they're waving at someone behind you? This experience must transcend cultural boundaries.
Music is great for lots of things and one thing that it can really add to is enjoyment of the pleasures of the flesh. The following are my top pleasures of the flesh songs and their situational appropriateness.
1. "Mirror" by Neo - This is my favorite one. This is for the most fun types of pleasures of the flesh. Somebody relatively new. You haven't had no major arguments yet. Everything's all good. There's a healthy understanding that your time together is your time apart is your time apart. You've already engaged in pleasures of the flesh 2 or so times together so now you're mad liberated and really ready to just go in and have fun.
2. "The Root" by D'Angelo - Much more serious than Mirror. Dare I say love. Very emotionally draining. If you find this song particualrly apt you may be in a danger zone of some sort. Theoretically you may be in some good zone too. Theoretically.
3. "Till We Become the Sun" by Maxwell - Tantric anthem. This is for the pleasures of the flesh that change your life for a few days and change the way you look at pleasures of the flesh forever. Then you think you're in love for a little while but then you realize the pleasures of the flesh was just mad intense. Mad fingertips. Kinda slow motionesque. "Till We Become the Sun" chicks are very powerful so be very careful.
4. "In the Hood" by Wu-tang Clan - Go in.
Ya'll know any good ones? Put me on.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Frugal Rock
My lifestyle is what you call frugal. I am quite adept at it.
I'm not broke. I'm not poor. I'm fed and clothed and sheltered and I always make enough money in enough time for whatever I really need. I am happy and enjoying a life of abundance. As a frugalist.
If you exhibit any of the following behaviors, then you may be a frugalist.
-Using lotion as chapstick.
-Using chapstick as lotion.
-Blowing into toothpaste so you can fill it up with water and shake it back and forth to make more toothpaste.
-Same with dishwashing liquid, only you don't have to blow into it.
-Saving all your little soap slivers and then forcing them together to make one sizeable soap mass.
-Reusing cereal milk over the course of 2 or more meals.
-2 or more consecutive meals consisting of cereal.
-Babypowdering your armpits because your out of deodorant.
-Using steam to fashion a makeshift bowl out of a styrofoam plate (if you know about this one you are an A level frugalist).
-Using paper towels as toilet paper.
-Using toilet paper as napkins.
Please feel free to add to this list. Frugalists unite!
I'm not broke. I'm not poor. I'm fed and clothed and sheltered and I always make enough money in enough time for whatever I really need. I am happy and enjoying a life of abundance. As a frugalist.
If you exhibit any of the following behaviors, then you may be a frugalist.
-Using lotion as chapstick.
-Using chapstick as lotion.
-Blowing into toothpaste so you can fill it up with water and shake it back and forth to make more toothpaste.
-Same with dishwashing liquid, only you don't have to blow into it.
-Saving all your little soap slivers and then forcing them together to make one sizeable soap mass.
-Reusing cereal milk over the course of 2 or more meals.
-2 or more consecutive meals consisting of cereal.
-Babypowdering your armpits because your out of deodorant.
-Using steam to fashion a makeshift bowl out of a styrofoam plate (if you know about this one you are an A level frugalist).
-Using paper towels as toilet paper.
-Using toilet paper as napkins.
Please feel free to add to this list. Frugalists unite!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
No Happiness Without Nuts
Dog owners who neuter, how can you rationalize cutting off the balls of an animal you claim to care about? Do you understand the significance of balls in the life of a male animal? There is no happiness without balls. These animals are miserable. They have no will to live. I don't care if he's wagging his tale. I don't care if he's smiling from ear to ear. The dude is miserable.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Doodoo Radar
It's bugged out how humans have built in doodoo radar. I mean, how many times have you looked down and seen doodoo that you would have stepped in had you not looked down? Happens to me all the time. But actually stepping in doodoo is very rare. It makes me wonder, what goes wrong those times when you actually step in doodoo, when your doodoo radar fails you. Why do regular radars fail? Like the ones in submarines, or the ones in control towers? Our radars and those radars probably fail for similar reasons.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Blessing Sneezers
How many times can someone sneeze before you stop saying "bless you?" Obviously the first time they sneeze they get a "bless you" and for the most part they do the second time is well, but what about the third time? The fourth? If someone has a sneezing fit spanning more than four sneezes is it permissible to wait until the end of it and then hit them with one big "bless you" that's to be applied evenly over all of the sneezes?
I find that most people stop after two sneezes, but why? Aren't those people sneezing incessantly more deserving of our blessing? Don't they need it more? What's the whole thing with blessing sneezers anyway? What's so unholy about sneezing? Or holy?
I find that most people stop after two sneezes, but why? Aren't those people sneezing incessantly more deserving of our blessing? Don't they need it more? What's the whole thing with blessing sneezers anyway? What's so unholy about sneezing? Or holy?
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Popular Misconception #1
P.M. #1 RECORD COMPANIES AND RADIO STATIONS PROMOTE MUSIC DRENCHED IN NEGATIVITY BECAUSE “THAT’S WHAT SELLS.”
REALITY: Of course that’s what sells. That’s all they’re selling.
In my neighborhood Tropical Fantasy Sodas sell. You think that’s what sells on the Upper West Side? Hell no. In the Upper West Side Whole Foods is what sells. Why aren’t there any Whole Foods in my neighborhood and why aren’t there any Tropical Fantasy Sodas on the Upper West Side? Not because either one of them “sells” any more than the other. It’s because they don’t give a shit what we drink, and they do give a shit what they drink. (Who is “they?” They is them.)
They decide what everybody drinks, just like they decide what everybody hears. That’s because they own everything. It’s well within their power to see to it that nothing but Tropical Fantasy Hip Hop plays on Hot 97, on Power 105. They own those stations. Of course we listen, we want to hear music, and this is the only music that we hear, but the claim that there is something about us that intrinsically favors debasing, demeaning, degrading music, well, that claim is as ridiculous as saying that we prefer eating McDonalds, Burger King, Kennedy’s Fried Chicken, Popeye’s, and rib tips, (much of which is actually delicious) instead of eating delicious healthy food; That we fundamentally prefer poor health, obesity, and heart disease.
No. We don’t prefer that. That isn’t what sells. It is simply all that’s given to provide for a necessity. Food is a necessity, so if you keep people from getting good food, you can be certain that bad food will sell. Entertainment is a necessity, (not to the extent that food is, but see how long you can go without it), so if you keep people from getting good entertainment, you can be certain that bad entertainment will sell.
Now, they eat McDonalds sometimes too. That’s true. The difference is they have a Whole Foods across the street. They can choose. Choice is a very important thing. Try to have a philosophical discussion about the meaning of life without discussing choice, and how it may very well lie at the very essence of makes life worth living. They have access to Whole Foods and Mickey D’s. They can make a choice. We lack that access. We lack that choice. We’re forced to consume cheap shit, through our mouths and our ears, and duped into believing we prefer it.
POINT: Things are not kept off the radio because they don’t sell. They don’t sell because they’re kept off the radio.
WHAT CAN WE DO?: You will die if you don’t eat, but you won’t die if you refuse to listen to shitty music! The people who purposely misshape and deform our minds and our children’s minds by way of the media images they depict of us are made infinitely stronger by the fact that we support them! We listen to their stations! We buy their CD’s!
If you think that Hot 97 is killing children and you listen to it anyway, you’re being hypocritical. But if you listen to, own, or promote music that you feel is killing children, don’t stop just because you don’t want to be a hypocrite, stop because if we all stop, we’ll be much closer to being able to choose for ourselves the images of us that will be glorified. This is serious. Please stop. Please stop right now. This is a serious thing. This is life and death. I know you’re just one person, but each one of us will always be just one person, even when there are millions of us. The only way to get there is one by one.
And if you find you have nothing to listen to, email me at homeboysandman@gmail.com. I will lace you with all the dope MP3’s. Mos Def. Lupe Fiasco. Old school. Whatever you want. Get at me, I got everything, all for absolutely free.
WATCH FOR NEXT WEEK’S ISSUE: People Just Want Something They Can Dance To? How Come We Used to be Able to Dance to Good Stuff?
REALITY: Of course that’s what sells. That’s all they’re selling.
In my neighborhood Tropical Fantasy Sodas sell. You think that’s what sells on the Upper West Side? Hell no. In the Upper West Side Whole Foods is what sells. Why aren’t there any Whole Foods in my neighborhood and why aren’t there any Tropical Fantasy Sodas on the Upper West Side? Not because either one of them “sells” any more than the other. It’s because they don’t give a shit what we drink, and they do give a shit what they drink. (Who is “they?” They is them.)
They decide what everybody drinks, just like they decide what everybody hears. That’s because they own everything. It’s well within their power to see to it that nothing but Tropical Fantasy Hip Hop plays on Hot 97, on Power 105. They own those stations. Of course we listen, we want to hear music, and this is the only music that we hear, but the claim that there is something about us that intrinsically favors debasing, demeaning, degrading music, well, that claim is as ridiculous as saying that we prefer eating McDonalds, Burger King, Kennedy’s Fried Chicken, Popeye’s, and rib tips, (much of which is actually delicious) instead of eating delicious healthy food; That we fundamentally prefer poor health, obesity, and heart disease.
No. We don’t prefer that. That isn’t what sells. It is simply all that’s given to provide for a necessity. Food is a necessity, so if you keep people from getting good food, you can be certain that bad food will sell. Entertainment is a necessity, (not to the extent that food is, but see how long you can go without it), so if you keep people from getting good entertainment, you can be certain that bad entertainment will sell.
Now, they eat McDonalds sometimes too. That’s true. The difference is they have a Whole Foods across the street. They can choose. Choice is a very important thing. Try to have a philosophical discussion about the meaning of life without discussing choice, and how it may very well lie at the very essence of makes life worth living. They have access to Whole Foods and Mickey D’s. They can make a choice. We lack that access. We lack that choice. We’re forced to consume cheap shit, through our mouths and our ears, and duped into believing we prefer it.
POINT: Things are not kept off the radio because they don’t sell. They don’t sell because they’re kept off the radio.
WHAT CAN WE DO?: You will die if you don’t eat, but you won’t die if you refuse to listen to shitty music! The people who purposely misshape and deform our minds and our children’s minds by way of the media images they depict of us are made infinitely stronger by the fact that we support them! We listen to their stations! We buy their CD’s!
If you think that Hot 97 is killing children and you listen to it anyway, you’re being hypocritical. But if you listen to, own, or promote music that you feel is killing children, don’t stop just because you don’t want to be a hypocrite, stop because if we all stop, we’ll be much closer to being able to choose for ourselves the images of us that will be glorified. This is serious. Please stop. Please stop right now. This is a serious thing. This is life and death. I know you’re just one person, but each one of us will always be just one person, even when there are millions of us. The only way to get there is one by one.
And if you find you have nothing to listen to, email me at homeboysandman@gmail.com. I will lace you with all the dope MP3’s. Mos Def. Lupe Fiasco. Old school. Whatever you want. Get at me, I got everything, all for absolutely free.
WATCH FOR NEXT WEEK’S ISSUE: People Just Want Something They Can Dance To? How Come We Used to be Able to Dance to Good Stuff?
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Fake Dinosaurs
If I wasn't an emcee I think I'd wanna be one of the cats that construct dinosaurs for the museum of natural history. These dudes are creative.
You ever seen one of these so called dinosaur skeletons? It be like 4 real bones and then like 32 fake plastic "recreated" bones, to replace the bones that they couldn't find. C'mon dog. I mean, dinosaurs may very well have existed, but these cats might just be making this shit up. "This looks like a foot bone." "This is a neck bone and there were 13 other ones we just can't find and they made a shape like a butterfly just like this." Give me card blanche and I'll make some iller looking dinosaurs than these cats. Three headed joints with 17 foot johnsons. I don't know, I don't really buy it.
And wassup with people that don't believe in aliens? I mean, you believe in other planets right? And other galaxies? And you know all this stuff is mad big? But then you actually think it's likey that we're the only planet with living stuff on it, in the whole super duper big ass endless ass universe in which our solar system is not even a zilloninth of a percent. I think you're buggin. Then you run off and believe the theory of evolution where we all came from the same single celled organism, which just kinda appeared based on chance. This scientist was like, "the odds of a living cell, with all its complexities, just being whipped up by chance is kinda like a tornado sweeping through a junkyard and assembling a fully functional 747, and then turning it on and flying it from Elmhurst to Pakistan in a straight line." I made up the Elmhurst to Pakistan part. When I tell people I don't believe in evolution they always be like "oh, how can you explain it then?!" Shit I can't explain it either. I don't need an explanation. Just cause I can't always find the truth, that doesn't mean I shouldn't try and find the lies. But seriously, for all ya'll like "this cat doesn't believe in evolution, he's buggin," do just a half hour of skeptical research. Mutation - true. Natural selection - true. Evolution - completely ridiculous. I'ma try and promote blog participation by putting very little detail here and then shooting people down as they disagree.
It's mad hot for October. Shit is about to pop off.
You ever seen one of these so called dinosaur skeletons? It be like 4 real bones and then like 32 fake plastic "recreated" bones, to replace the bones that they couldn't find. C'mon dog. I mean, dinosaurs may very well have existed, but these cats might just be making this shit up. "This looks like a foot bone." "This is a neck bone and there were 13 other ones we just can't find and they made a shape like a butterfly just like this." Give me card blanche and I'll make some iller looking dinosaurs than these cats. Three headed joints with 17 foot johnsons. I don't know, I don't really buy it.
And wassup with people that don't believe in aliens? I mean, you believe in other planets right? And other galaxies? And you know all this stuff is mad big? But then you actually think it's likey that we're the only planet with living stuff on it, in the whole super duper big ass endless ass universe in which our solar system is not even a zilloninth of a percent. I think you're buggin. Then you run off and believe the theory of evolution where we all came from the same single celled organism, which just kinda appeared based on chance. This scientist was like, "the odds of a living cell, with all its complexities, just being whipped up by chance is kinda like a tornado sweeping through a junkyard and assembling a fully functional 747, and then turning it on and flying it from Elmhurst to Pakistan in a straight line." I made up the Elmhurst to Pakistan part. When I tell people I don't believe in evolution they always be like "oh, how can you explain it then?!" Shit I can't explain it either. I don't need an explanation. Just cause I can't always find the truth, that doesn't mean I shouldn't try and find the lies. But seriously, for all ya'll like "this cat doesn't believe in evolution, he's buggin," do just a half hour of skeptical research. Mutation - true. Natural selection - true. Evolution - completely ridiculous. I'ma try and promote blog participation by putting very little detail here and then shooting people down as they disagree.
It's mad hot for October. Shit is about to pop off.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)